Watching
by writestories315
Summary: Watching, remembering, and wishing.


Title – Watching  
Author name – Carol 

E-mail – Writestories315@yahoo.com  
Rating – G

Spoilers – Second Sight and my own made-up world  
Disclaimer – The only thing I own is a sever case of self-induced-delusions.  
Summery – Watching, remembering, and wishing.

Author's Notes – 

1. Borrowing Martina McBride's "In My Daughter's Eyes"  

2. This is a first person POV and the POV changes to another first person at the end.

3. Yet another un-beta-ed piece.  (I just don't care….the next one will be beta read…promise…maybe….we'll see) 

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When she was younger she would look up at me with those eyes and I would know in an instant she loved me.  And she did.  We would be playing dolls in her bedroom and the sweetness from her voice and laugher could fix any problem.

She said I was her hero, but she was really mine.  She was so strong for such a small child.  So many times she rescued me from the pain of life.  She explained everything with a simple truth, a child's truth where everything was honest and real.  No adult complications to mess up the love in her eyes.  I wish I could see things that way….I wish I could make things simple.

_In my daughter's eyes I am a hero  
I am strong and wise and I know no fear  
But the truth is plain to see  
She was sent to rescue me  
I see who I wanna be  
In my daughter's eyes_  
  
For so many years I have been so weak.  I've ran when I should have fought.  I was lost when I should have been found.  I left things when I should have taken them.  I screwed up my life and I almost took her down that path with me.  I regret a lot in my life, but I don't regret that miracle God gave me.  I will never regret her. 

I will never forget her.  When I would wake up on the couch and she would be cleaning my latest bruise with a wet towel, or she would get an ice pack to prevent swelling.  She grew up too fast.  She was my reason for life and my reason to believe there were better things out in the world.  It wasn't a pretty world in our house, but with her there was hope and strength.  There was unconditional love from her, too.

_In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal  
Darkness turns to light and the  
world is at peace  
This miracle God gave to me gives me  
strength when I am weak  
I find reason to believe   
In my daughter's eyes_  
  
She always made me smile.  The dolls and teddy bears in her room and the dreams in her heart.  She would tell me her dreams everyday.  My favorite was of the handsome prince that would rescue her from the terrible evil wizard.  He would fight for her and win her with a kiss.  They would go to the castle and were he would love her till eternity gave out.  She promised me a room in the castle, because every little girl needs her momma.  

_And when she wraps her hand  
around my finger  
Oh it puts a smile in my heart  
Everything becomes a little clearer  
I realize what life is all about_

  
Her young, sweet, innocents kept me going for so many years, but then it just got to be too much and I had to go.  I've never forgiven myself for leaving, but it had to be done.  I had to leave.  I had to leave.  I didn't want to, but I had to. 

Leaving wasn't hard.  It was easy to walk out of house while she was a friends and he was at work.  The hardest thing to do was to walk past her room and give one last glance at her life.  The memories flooded back.  The games of princess and beauty salon.  The laughter as I read her stories and the goodnight kisses.  The worst memory was of her right before she would fall asleep.  She said 'I love you, Momma' so many times to me in that room.  God, what did I do? 

  
_It's hangin' on when your heart  
has had enough  
It's giving more when you feel like giving up  
I've seen the light  
It's in my daughter's eyes  
  
_

I watch her now.  She doesn't know I do this.  But here I am, another Sunday afternoon in the park.  She is sitting under a tree with her three-month-old daughter in her lap; I read in the paper her name is Elizabeth.  Her son's Andrew and Thomas are playing on the jungle gym with their father watching over them laughing with pride at their antics.  

I once saw the boys up close.  I was walking past the ice cream cart when the two ran over with money for the ice cream man; their father was behind them laughing with the baby in his arms.  I glanced at the boys and saw so much of her in them.  The oldest Thomas looks like his father, but Andrew is his mother.  Dark eyes, dark hair, and deep complexion she got from my mother. 

I haven't seen Elizabeth up close, but I would place money she's just like my little girl.  I wish and pray I could walk over to her and say I'm sorry for everything I've done all those years ago.  Even though she said she forgave me when her father died, I wish I could be part of her life.  I wish I could see her eyes look upon me one more time.  Once more I wish I could see her without having to worry about the past.  I wish I could be a part of her life.  I wish I could live in her eyes again. 

She has a life and I'm not part of it.  She has a family of three wonderful children and her handsome prince.  She made me happy so many years ago and she still does.  I know that bundle of joy in her arms makes her happy.  Good luck with life, Baby.

I look at my watch and realize my time is up.  I stand to leave giving her family one last look.  "Until next week, Princess, I love you."  

I turn and walk away….it's the direction I always take.

  
_In my daughter's eyes I can see the future  
A reflection of who I am and what will be  
Though she'll grow and someday leave  
Maybe raise a family  
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy  
she made me  
For I'll be there  
In my daughter's eyes_

I watch as she leaves.  I wonder if she'll ever come up and say anything.  Harm doesn't know she's watching us every week.  She sits on the bench far enough away to look like she's just enjoying the park, but I know it's her.  I know my mother is watching my family.  I just wish she would say hello to them.  I wish she could meet her granddaughter who is staring up at me like I'm the best thing in the world.

I hear Harm call to the boys and they start whining, I swear they both picked that up from him.  It's time to go.  I laugh as he picks Tommy up and throws him over his shoulder.  Andy laughs and knows he'll be carried next week.  

"Ready, Mac?"

I smile up at him, knowing I'm safe with him.  "Yeah, Andy you get the blanket this week."

"Okay, Mom."  Andy grins as I stand up with Lizzie in my arms.  He starts to fold and roll the blanket up.  

Harm sets Tommy down and he helps his brother.  I pick up the baby bag, which Harm takes out of my hand since I have the baby.  Once the blanket is rolled up we start our walk back to the house.  We walk down the same path my mother did, except we're heading in the other direction.  

I take one look back hoping to catch a glimpse, but I don't see her.  'Bye Mom, someday stop and say hi.'

The End


End file.
